A rainbow cake broke me

The internet has peer pressured me into tackling a Pinterest project.

When I put together my 101 in 1001 I was in an aspirational mood to be the mother that made everything from scratch, made every life moment a mystery and made every game one of learning.

That lasted about a month.

But I still have the list. And I still have to finish it. So for Mini Me's first birthday I decided to tackle the rainbow cake.

What a ridiculous idea.

Mini Me and the Rainbow Cake that broke me

 

One year down....

I've been a little quiet. I've been a little busy being a leaner-inner.

It seems this online brain dump really was biding time until I got it back into gear. I love what I do. I love my job.

It doesn't make me love Mini Me less. I just have to be honest with myself. 

So I will be writing less but still trying to finish my 101 in 1001.

Yesterday marked Mini Me's first birthday. To think a year ago I was defleaing the dog, with my pants off because I thought I had a saw stomach from too much food. Turns out, she was coming.

The rise of the super mum

As a Pinterest abuser and mum who also works full time this will seem hypocritical... But damn those super mums.

They're up-cycling recycling into developmentally rich activities to expand their child's mental capacity. Their child-activity focused busy schedule makes my own meeting heavy diary look sparse. They're organic and gluten, diary, taste free home cooked meals remind me of a pre-homo sapien diet.

They swap out toys so the child never gets bored. They sign tiny tot up to every class possible. They're child always dresses amazing in public, even if it means changing them around the corner.

After another weekend of my head thinking about work, my body fighting the urge not to tip the bowl of homemade hidden veggie ragu over Mini Me's head and my emotions slipping out in primal screams I'm done. I'm tapping out.

I don't have the energy to wonder whether I'm doing irreversible damage as I swear at myself over the situation. I can't be bothered to make sure I tick four of however many development activities with each game we play. I can't bare to talk through what I'm doing like some crack-head on a mash-up of Play School and Masterchef. I don't have the care to shove a food pyramid of nutrition into each spoonful of food.

I'm taking this moment to explain. I'm tired after a trying day. I'm actually in bed cruising the online social world for a bit of respite now that Mini Me is asleep. I've been assaulted by post, photo, pin after post, photo, pin of super mum activities. I'm vulnerable and tired.

Tomorrow I'll forget this. I'll be back planning the rainbow cake for Mini Me's birthday and juggling my colliding worlds.

But now can I dream of a simpler world where a stick was a tool for endless games. Where the Tupperware drawer was a mystery to be unstacked and restacked. Where a polony sandwich was the height of nutrition. Where the only child-based activity you were booked into was on ABC.

Where I'm not a super mum, trying to be a super mum, pretending to be a super mum. Where I'm warts and all okay and I can throw out the recycling. Just let the rubbish go...

100 Happy Days - DONE

Could I be happy for 100 days? Sort of. In the past few days with a teething demon child, self of self-worthlessness, worrying about who is or who isn't friends with me and mounting work has meant finding happiness was tough.

There are always the smallest snippets. Sleep. Sun. Fresh Air. Chocolate.

Sadly the camera is not always there to capture those moments, and nor should it be.

These are my final days of the 100 Happy Days challenge.

As I said at the beginning I have an easy and photographable muse who makes for great talent. Just look at that face. She certainly features heavily in my happy days.

What it hasn't shown is the amazing and supportive husband, family and friends I have. The joy of returning to work. The kindness of a stranger letting me in or saying something nice. The surprise of a nice text from a lost friend. The excitement of happy news of those dear to me. It doesn't show the laughs, the fun or the people I encounter on a daily basis that make this life very rich.

Ugh. I'm obviously feeling very touchy-feeling with this romantic dialogue. Clearly I'm procrastinating from work. So I'll stop and let the picture do the talking.

Thank-you to one of the super mums for this inspiration. It was a fun way to document my life.



Day 78: Giving blood to save lives. Everyone should do it.
Day 79: Good old chilli con carne on the couch.
Day 80: Showing the little ones how to plank.
Day 81: OMG. She looks like a doll.
Day 82: Bubbles in your hair is the latest trend sweeping the runway.
Day 83: Look who found daddy's beer stash.
Day 84: Bubbles and bath.
Day 85: My office for the day.
Day 86: Cornered!
Day 87: Ladies who lunch.
Day 88: Family park selfie.
Day 89: More ladies who long table lunch for BreastCareWA.
Day 90: Feeling dusty but remembering fond memories of the long table lunch.
Day 91: Open. Shut. The new favourite game.
Day 92: No. You make me happy mail from a friend that isn't bills.
Day 93: Swinging.
Day 94: It's for you mum.
Day 95: Posers at another picnic.
Day 96: It's getting hot in here. Flaming coffee liqueur at Nonna's.
Day 97: Who me stay up all night? Never!
Day 98: Getting ready for work together.
Day 99: Zonked.
Day 100: Put my feet up, take a break from work and relax. The 100 Happy Days are done!


Hi ho. Hi no. It's back to work I go.

Being back at work feels like playtime. It certainly doesn't feel like my real job anymore.

Famous last words. Ask me again in a month.

What was particularly interesting was in the week I go back the Australian Human Rights Commission released a study of 2000 women and their workplace experiences during pregnancy and later returning to work.

It found one in two women report experiencing discrimination in the workplace during their pregnancy, after requesting or while on parental leave, or upon returning to work. As a result of this, a shocking 84% of these women experienced negative impacts on their mental health, physical health, families, finances, career and job opportunities.

I've seen this first hand. I have three friends who have returned to work since having their bubs last year. Of this three, two of them have posted Facebook statuses with tales of unfairness in the workplace. I'm sure there are others more feeling this way but don't feel comfortable enough sharing their feelings with others.

What I learnt during maternity leave

It's been almost a year since I put my out of office on, waddled to my car and drove off into the sunset.

It took a while for me to slow down. Even longer to switch my work brain off at the wall. With each new day I got a little bit slower, a little less frantic and a lot more sleepier.

Aside from the curve ball Mini Me has thrown and the tough lessons I quickly learnt, there are some other lessons I had in the past year.

1. Naps are under-rated

In our culture we laugh about how amazing it would be to have the afternoon siestas some countries like Spain and Italy enjoy. Then seconds later snigger how nothing ever gets done in those countries. Sadder still, that age-old tradition is being phased out. Please note: naps are not just for kids. I always felt great after 10 minutes of power napping. And on particularly slow days an hour and a half even. If only I could make a bed under my desk at work.

Naps are great!

2. Maternity leave should be called Morning Tea leave

I've said this before, but there is a lot of coffee and cake to be consumed when catching up with other women during your mat leave.

3. Don't put it off. Don't wait. Do it now.

This isn't a new, mind-blown philosophy. We all know it. We all read the inspirational quotes clogging up our Facebook, Instagram or any online feed you follow. You see, I thought I'd nail most of the 101 in 1001 during my mat leave. Ah no. I've managed 10% of it. There was always another coffee to go to (see point 2), another nap to have (see point 1) or a whiny baby to tend to. But I do wish I did more of it, because it'll get harder as a third of my life is consumed by work again.

4. But don't feel the need to rush and do it all at once

Woah. Contradiction! I'm a list maker (ah hello, what are you reading). I love to tick things off and have things done. I'd like to think I've seen and done a hell of a lot more than some people at my age. Yes there is a lot more people that have done more than me, but I'm still pretty happy. This year I've learnt it's okay to not have done everything, because there is always time. It's just about making sure your priorities are right. Sure I could've buckled down and smashed through half of my 101 in 1001, but where is the spontaneous fun of it? Instead my priorities were to have another coffee with friends (see point 2), rest up and take it slow (see point 1) and tend to my whiny baby when she needs me.

5. It's okay to say hello and good-bye to people

I love a good Facebook cull, but it is always harder to cull people in real life. Just like we should clean out our cupboards, sometimes we need a life cleanse and need to get rid of people we're investing too much for little return. You wouldn't do that with money. You wouldn't do that with a garden. So why waste your life doing it. Plus you might make new friends you need to make room for.

6. Let it all wash away in the shower

We're lucky we can have hot showers when ever we want. When ever Mini Me was being particularly annoying, I would put her in the bouncer and have a hot shower. She'd cry it out and if I'm lucky fall asleep. Meanwhile I couldn't hear her from under the running water and my worries, cares and stress just went down the drain. Even now, she just plays with her drawer, while I shower. Now to install a hot shower at work...

7. Choose the right mating partner

I always new Hubby was a bit of alright when it came to being supportive. Without him we would've ended years ago. To this day I'm the biggest shit in our relationship. What I wasn't prepared for was how much we'd need his patience and support when Mini Me came alone. Kids do not fix things. In fact they magnify all the bad stuff in your relationship and each other but you're too tired or busy to fight it out, talk it out or have the make-up sex that goes with a good fight. Sometimes it doesn't work this way, but pick the right person to have kids with. Make sure you're as rock solid as possible before the monster comes to tear it apart, and when possible make time for each other.

8. You're not the first, or last, person to experience that problem

The thing about first world problems is there is always someone else that has gone, or is going, through the same thing as you. While it is unique to you and might feel like the end of the world, you're not alone. Contrary to the books not everyone feels an instant connection to their baby. Everyone, at some point, has yelled a profanity at a baby that won't stop crying and start sleeping. Everyone has felt helpless at some point. Everyone fights with their partner, family and friends. Everyone farts. The lesson is, chill out, don't freak out, it'll be okay. And if you need to you can always find someone else who can sympathise.

9. Simple is best

The best example of this are kids toys. Forget the fancy, development enhancing toys, reach for your utensil draw. An empty box, car keys, a toothbrush are Mini Me's favourite toys. We complicate everything. For every problem we find the most difficult way to fix it. Instead, I've learnt simply is best. Don't over work it. Don't over think it and you'll get a better result.

In an ideal world, I'm going to take these lessons with me into work. Especially the naps one.

For those that have ever left the rat race for any period of time, what have you learnt? Post in the comments or get in touch. 

Splashing out

I'm in a foul mood this week.

Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's because my dad is visiting an staying with my father-in-law, which is always trying. Maybe it's because Mini Me is out of whack due to starting daycare, teething, or because she's a baby. Maybe it's just one of those weeks.

So when it was Mini Me's nine-month birthday (nine in, nine out) I needed something and thankfully my yummy mummies group had the perfect solution.

Getting saucy on Italian Sauce Day

The end of 'Looking for Alibrandi' got it all wrong. Sauce Day is not a day of Italian tunes, people wearing head scarves and families embracing happily.

It's a little more like La Tomatina... there are tomatoes thrown, tears, tantrums, fights and that's all before the first espresso. Then the stench of rotten tomatoes lingers on your skin and hair.

The paving looks like a Japanese Whaling Ship (no animals were hurt in the production of thick juicy sauce). Nonno (grandfather for non-Italians) gives a mean eye when he thinks you're not boiling the bottles properly. Nonna mutters that Kevin never checks the tomatoes properly. Sister S is being Sister S and thinks its a laugh. My very Australian husband thinks it is the best fun.

What am I saying? It's a hard slog, but it's tradition. I'm a sucker for tradition. So if ya gotta do it, then do it with some style.

Who let the mum's out?

This week I'd read an interesting article about how becoming a parent had changed, or not changed, a person.

It made me think about the person I was, the person I am now and the person I hope to be.

I truly think I'm the same, just a calmer version of me. I still go out regularly (at least once a week and also baby free), still swear (really need to stop that), I've always had a shower before lunch, I still cook. I think it's important to do things for yourself. Though I am learning to let go of things that take up too much energy with little return. Got to say it's a nice feeling.

The article came a good time because the following Saturday night the yummy mummies were hitting the town, without the babies. Watch out!

Feeling like a small group without our accessories

100 happy days

Is it possible to be happy for 100 days in a row?

2014 must be the International Year of Niceness and Happiness. Everywhere I'm seeing challenges to pay it forward, capture happy moments, create memory jars, all in an effort to feel warm and fuzzy.

Already for my 101 in 1001 I wanted to make a list of the 100 things that make me happy. I've been slowly building that list as I go along. Then on Facebook I noticed a friend post a challenge #100happydays.

Could I be happy for 100 days in a row?

Smugness of separation anxiety

Yesterday was my bi-monthly gym visit since I started Morning Tea Leave.

The baking, coffees and Nigella inspired meals in my attempt to knock Martha Stewart off her smug perch are taking their toll. Next year's Biggest Loser will be a world first. It'll take all three trainers to focus on one person who gives the Ghostbusters dough boy a binge eating for its money.

The last three times Mini Me was in the crèche were tolerable. Yes there were tears, mostly from me as I looked at the scales, but the upside was Mini Me passed out before the car door opened and would sleep. It is the only activity that has actually tired her out. Why didn't I do this more as I spent many a day bouncing on the gym ball to get her to sleep? Every time she came away with a cold. And reread sentence one... Bimonthly visit.

New year, new me and off we wobbled.

It was the most satisfying 15-minutes of my life.

Benefit of being a mum #8

Spending the morning in a park, lying on a rug and staring at the trees.

Life doesn't get simpler or happier than this.

 

Benefit of being a mum #6

You can shamelessly get excited and over the top about Christmas, because it's for the kids right?
Merry Christmas!



Yes this is a photo of my dog and Santa. He was my first child after all.

No vacancy for more friends

I have enough friends. The quota is full.

That's what I tell myself. I can barely keep in touch with the ones I have. But I continue to pick up one or two new people as I go.

It's not that I'm worth being friends with. It's that I really like people and I like to keep them around. For different reasons they entertain me, make me feel good or are someone I aspire to be. Mostly though they entertain me.

Just before joining my allocated mother's group I went through the same mantra, coupled with 'it's like high school, you get thrown in with a bunch of people who are probably nothing like you, or they're exactly like you and you'll hate them'. I went along to get out of the house.

Bugger. After five weeks of the structured sessions with the Child Health Nurse I started to like them.

My new found besties (minus Kate and the twins)

Benefit of being a mum #5

You can say no to drunken nights out because babies are the excuse no one can argue with.

If only I thought of that last night. Everything tastes as bad as this hangover feels.

10 things about my pregnancy and labour

A new yummy mummy friend, let's call her Super S, had set up a secret Facebook group just for mothers whose bubs are born in 2013.

Who knew secret societies existed on Facebook. Oh yeah, they're secret.

Super S is an ideas lady and what started as a way to keep track of her many new mum friends has grown faster than Jessica Simpson during pregnancy.

There is a Facebook craze going on where someone lists five unknown things about themselves and if you like the status you get allocated a number and have to do the same. A bright spark on this secret group decided to get it going about our pregnancy and labour and it spread like wildfire.

Why I baptised Mini Me

This is a letter to Mini Me, to explain why she was baptised this weekend.


My Little Lady,

Firstly I have to confess, I do not believe in organised religion. I hate how humans turn something meant for good to suit a sinister agenda. I'm sure Einstien didn't dream of the nuclear bomb when he discovered relativity. I truly believe that's what has happened with all religions.

Frocking free

I'm feeling very overwhelmed by choice. My hands are itchy for my staple dresses.  I'm shaking from withdrawals. 

I'm reaching out.... Must. Choose. A. Different. Outfit.

Urged overcome. Embracing summer we're in shorts and a little miss sunshine outfit.

Frocktober 2014 may be over, but you can still donate to our Frocktober efforts, but for now I'm giddy with choice: https://frocktober.everydayhero.com/au/two-chicks-and-a-baby 

Frocktober 2013 Day 31 - Check ya later...

We've come to the end of Frocktober 2013 and Two Chicks and a Baby have raised over $2,100 - WOOP!

A big thank you to everyone that donated generously. Every bit helps bring us closer to an early detection test for ovarian cancer.

A big thank you to those that have read our adventures, put up with us clogging up the Facebook posts and for asking how we've been going. Your support has been extremely encouraging.

But the biggest thanks goes to Sister S and Mini Me for taking part in this little fundraising adventure.

So for the last time, here is Mini Me's outfit for today:

Woo hoo! It's over.

Frocktober 2013 Day 30 - Two for one

It's the penultimate Frocktober 2013 day. Only one more day to go and today is a two-for.

Yes I have worn two dresses today at the same time. How? Read on to find out.

In the meantime, Mini Me is ending the month in some frocks of her own.

Babies just don't pull dresses off very well. Lying around all day means jumpsuits are better because dresses just look like mumus.

She's thinking 'do I look fat in this?'

Babies and dresses are not a good combo