Who knew secret societies existed on Facebook. Oh yeah, they're secret.
Super S is an ideas lady and what started as a way to keep track of her many new mum friends has grown faster than Jessica Simpson during pregnancy.
There is a Facebook craze going on where someone lists five unknown things about themselves and if you like the status you get allocated a number and have to do the same. A bright spark on this secret group decided to get it going about our pregnancy and labour and it spread like wildfire.
Some of the stories were lovely, but standard. I truly envy women whose whole being is to be a mum. I'd just come off a morning where a dear old friend was preachy about why she's glad she didn't go back to work because it's so important to cherish this time with your kids while they're little.
True. But for some it's not financially viable. And for others, like me, it's not enough.
I feel I always have to start this with, I love Mini Me and would die for her, BUT I don't have the gushiness other women have. I'm not all consumed by her. I love having apart time and leaving her with others. I'm constantly feeling guilty about these feelings and that one day she'll read this. But I also have to be honest.
The brave stories on the Facebook group where it didn't come naturally were the ones that touched me the most. Super S and another yummy mummy friend Super K were both extremely candid about their difficult time, each for different reasons.
Motherhood is not easy, not necessarily natural and not for everyone. We all get there and have our eureka moment where it clicks, but it isn't instant.
I'm only just getting there...
Here were my ten things about my pregnancy and labour:
1. My husband made me take the pregnancy test because I was planning a weekend bender and he was not happy about my partying.
2. My reaction was 'fuck' (sorry for the language). I was not ready and was gutted at how my brilliant summer, a trip to Kenya, three weddings and related parties would now be boring....
3. But watching everyone getting drunk was highly amusing, with enough blackmail material to keep me going for years.
4. I was the worst pregnant woman. I picked and chose what I would and wouldn't do. Glass of red, fine. Vodka, bad. Poached eggs, yes. Sushi, no. No ham, unless the sandwich was toasted. Totally irrational.
5. I was massively judged by a waitress when I asked if a cocktail was too alcoholic for a pregnant chick. I got the wine instead.
6. #4 could be why I suffered massive anxiety attacks the week leading up to every scan and check. She didn't move and I was convinced they'd tell me her heart had stopped.
7. Bub was breach and we tried the external manual movement to flip her around. It didn't work but everyone on the ward came to watch. Felt like I was in 'Scrubs'.
8. I was upset we had to book a caesarean because I had it in my head she should pick her birthday, you know in case she was into numerology or something and wanted to see what personality traits she had or what her future would be.
9. The night before my booked caesarean I was defleaing the dog and got cramps. I thought I ate too much so I took my pants off to give my belly room. Then my waters broke. Amelia came 8 hours before she was planned to. She picked her birthday after all.
10. I never got the gushiness everyone else has with their baby. I love her to bits now but it's still not enough for me. I constantly feel guilty about this, and that I seem to do the meaner things when it comes to caring for her. I guess no one knows if they're doing the right thing as a parent, until their child turns into a model citizen.
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