Who let the mum's out?

This week I'd read an interesting article about how becoming a parent had changed, or not changed, a person.

It made me think about the person I was, the person I am now and the person I hope to be.

I truly think I'm the same, just a calmer version of me. I still go out regularly (at least once a week and also baby free), still swear (really need to stop that), I've always had a shower before lunch, I still cook. I think it's important to do things for yourself. Though I am learning to let go of things that take up too much energy with little return. Got to say it's a nice feeling.

The article came a good time because the following Saturday night the yummy mummies were hitting the town, without the babies. Watch out!

Feeling like a small group without our accessories

We had one rule. Do not speak of the unmentionables. There were monetary fines if you did.

For some this was not the first baby free night out. For others it had been a while since they frocked up and headed out. As we happily chatted, and drank, away there were laughs abound while we got to know each other.

A good question came up of what was the best year of your life and why. Interestingly, refreshingly and thankfully not one person said 2013. Yes our bubs made last year a rewarding year and we are so thankful, but we were honest enough to say it was a hard slog.

What came out were stories of wild years oversees, major life events, travelling, partying and a whole lot of drinking. Generally around the mid-20 years as well. It was interesting to see common themes in what defined a 'best year', which was generally partying, travelling and drinking. While that seems frivolous and shallow, I think it is because those years were carefree and selfish. There were little worries and concerns. There were memories and adventures.

But it brought me back to that article. As we shared stories and enjoyed ourselves I could see the person behind the parent.

We put so much pressure on parents to act a certain way and to be in parent mode all the time. We're expected to be loving, responsible, caring and in awe of our mini clones all the time. What about being yourself and doing something selfish? I really don't think there is any harm in that.

I'm a better mum when I'm away from Mini Me. It makes me appreciate her more, makes sure we have quality time, puts things back into perspective and recharges me.

It sounds counter-productive, but I think to be the best parent you can be, you have to think about yourself first sometimes. Obviously not all the time, but at least once a day. It doesn't have to be much. It could be a cup of tea in the sun (I'm a huge advocate for the benefits of sunshine and Vitamin D on your mental state). It could keep keeping up a hobby. It could be a walk.

It may mean being assertive and telling your partner it's your turn. It may need to happen during a short nap time.

I implore you, don't make an excuse. Make an effort. Rediscover yourself. Take some time for yourself. You'll be a better person and parent for it.