It dawned on me. This little online musings was my outlet while I was on maternity leave. I needed something for me. Some structure and purpose.
Now before you super mums don the capes and come to shoot me down, take a moment and listen.
Being a mum is the best purpose I've ever had. Mini Me is becoming me every day and is bloody funny and bloody cute. She's also bloody tiring, testing, restricting, rewarding, entertaining and frustrating all coiled in that little body of hers that is about to spring.
What she is not is intellectually fulfilling. I've been lucky to have never been unemployed. Even as a kid I 'helped' mum at her work. I thrive on work and I survive on using my brain. So going from working to lunching is a massive adjustment. And this helped me through.
Now though, I write again every day. I problem solve, gossip, plan, deliver and manage the older children at my work that have tantrums that will give Mini Me a run for her money.
I love working. It's tough and a juggling act. I recently went through a tough time with anxiety attacks, illness and horribleness to those close to me. I never feel like I'm doing good at anything and failing at everything. Except failing.
Then I confided in people, noticed the signs and realised I'm doing okay. We're all doing okay.
This moment of serenity will pass. The overwhelming feeling of not doing anything right will come again, but I'm going to make the most of this peace now.
Basically this is a log way to say, I probably won't be writing anymore, at least for now. I have my outlet and don't have the time to do this writing anymore.
I'll continue my 101 in 1001 and try to remember to record them.
But if I don't and I don't write. I haven't forgotten how you helped get me through that past year. It'll stay wih me forever.
X
