It's been almost a year since I put my out of office on, waddled to my car and drove off into the sunset.
It took a while for me to slow down. Even longer to switch my work brain off at the wall. With each new day I got a little bit slower, a little less frantic and a lot more sleepier.
Aside from the curve ball Mini Me has thrown and the tough lessons I quickly learnt, there are some other lessons I had in the past year.
1. Naps are under-rated
In our culture we laugh about how amazing it would be to have the afternoon siestas some countries like Spain and Italy enjoy. Then seconds later snigger how nothing ever gets done in those countries. Sadder still, that age-old tradition is being phased out. Please note: naps are not just for kids. I always felt great after 10 minutes of power napping. And on particularly slow days an hour and a half even. If only I could make a bed under my desk at work.
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| Naps are great! |
2. Maternity leave should be called Morning Tea leave
I've said this before, but there is a lot of coffee and cake to be consumed when catching up with other women during your mat leave.
3. Don't put it off. Don't wait. Do it now.
This isn't a new, mind-blown philosophy. We all know it. We all read the inspirational quotes clogging up our Facebook, Instagram or any online feed you follow. You see, I thought I'd nail most of the
101 in 1001 during my mat leave. Ah no. I've managed 10% of it. There was always another coffee to go to (see point 2), another nap to have (see point 1) or a whiny baby to tend to. But I do wish I did more of it, because it'll get harder as a third of my life is consumed by work again.
4. But don't feel the need to rush and do it all at once
Woah. Contradiction! I'm a list maker (ah hello, what are you reading). I love to tick things off and have things done. I'd like to think I've seen and done a hell of a lot more than some people at my age. Yes there is a lot more people that have done more than me, but I'm still pretty happy. This year I've learnt it's okay to not have done everything, because there is always time. It's just about making sure your priorities are right. Sure I could've buckled down and smashed through half of my
101 in 1001, but where is the spontaneous fun of it? Instead my priorities were to have another coffee with friends (see point 2), rest up and take it slow (see point 1) and tend to my whiny baby when she needs me.
5. It's okay to say hello and good-bye to people
I love a good Facebook cull, but it is always harder to cull people in real life. Just like we should clean out our cupboards, sometimes we need a life cleanse and need to get rid of people we're investing too much for little return. You wouldn't do that with money. You wouldn't do that with a garden. So why waste your life doing it. Plus you might make new friends you need to make room for.
6. Let it all wash away in the shower
We're lucky we can have hot showers when ever we want. When ever Mini Me was being particularly annoying, I would put her in the bouncer and have a hot shower. She'd cry it out and if I'm lucky fall asleep. Meanwhile I couldn't hear her from under the running water and my worries, cares and stress just went down the drain. Even now, she just plays with her drawer, while I shower. Now to install a hot shower at work...
7. Choose the right mating partner
I always new Hubby was a bit of alright when it came to being supportive. Without him we would've ended years ago. To this day I'm the biggest shit in our relationship. What I wasn't prepared for was how much we'd need his patience and support when Mini Me came alone. Kids do not fix things. In fact they magnify all the bad stuff in your relationship and each other but you're too tired or busy to fight it out, talk it out or have the make-up sex that goes with a good fight. Sometimes it doesn't work this way, but pick the right person to have kids with. Make sure you're as rock solid as possible before the monster comes to tear it apart, and when possible make time for each other.
8. You're not the first, or last, person to experience that problem
The thing about first world problems is there is always someone else that has gone, or is going, through the same thing as you. While it is unique to you and might feel like the end of the world, you're not alone. Contrary to the books not everyone feels an instant connection to their baby. Everyone, at some point, has yelled a profanity at a baby that won't stop crying and start sleeping. Everyone has felt helpless at some point. Everyone fights with their partner, family and friends. Everyone farts. The lesson is, chill out, don't freak out, it'll be okay. And if you need to you can always find someone else who can sympathise.
9. Simple is best
The best example of this are kids toys. Forget the fancy, development enhancing toys, reach for your utensil draw. An empty box, car keys, a toothbrush are Mini Me's favourite toys. We complicate everything. For every problem we find the most difficult way to fix it. Instead, I've learnt simply is best. Don't over work it. Don't over think it and you'll get a better result.
In an ideal world, I'm going to take these lessons with me into work. Especially the naps one.
For those that have ever left the rat race for any period of time, what have you learnt? Post in the comments or get in touch.
